A Joke so Bad that it's Good

ˈwɒts ˈbraʊn ən ˈstɪki ||
ə ˈstɪk

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Commentary

[Don't worry if you find this overwhelming. Don't let yourself be put off. The same phenomena will come up again and again in these transcriptions. There'll be plenty of opportunities for them to sink in over time. Slow and steady, a little each day, is the key to success.]

Explanation: The word sticky can be understood to mean stick-like, but only in very silly, childish language. Much of the humour in this joke comes from how silly or bad a joke it is.

what’s: When unstressed, as it usually is, the word is can have three different pronunciations, depending on the final sound of the immediately preceding word:

• ·         When the final sound of the preceding word is /s z ʃ ʒ ʧ ʤ/, then is has the form /ɪz/, e.g. Chris is well /ˈkrɪs ɪz ˈwel/.
• ·         When the final sound of the preceding word is a voiceless consonants (excluding the consonants listed above), then is has the form /s/ and forms a contraction with the preceding word, e.g. Jack is well /ˈʤæks ˈwel/.
• ·         If the final sound of the preceding word is voiced (i.e. a vowel or a voiced consonant (excluding the consonants listed above)), then is has the form /z/ and forms a contraction with the preceding word, e.g. John is well /ˈʤɒnz ˈwel/.

This is the same pattern as with possessive s, plural s and the third person singular s.

and: When unstressed, as it usually is, and has the weak form /ən/ or /ənd/. Some books say that /ən/ is used before consonants and /ənd/ before vowels, but this is not true. While both forms can be heard before consonants and vowels, /ən/ is much more common than /ənd/. Learners can safely use only /ən/ for the weak form of and because it will never be wrong to do so.

sticky: The symbol i represents the same vowel phoneme as the symbol iː. We use i in unstressed syllables and iː in stressed syllables. This distinction isn't very helpful for TEFL purposes and learners should simply treat the two symbols as the same. Because we are using two different symbols for one phoneme, this means our transcription isn't truly phonemic (phonemic transcription = one symbol for each phoneme).

aː When unstressed, as it usually is, the indefinite article a has the weak form /ə/.

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

A Colourful Joke

ˈwɒts ˈɒrɪnʤ | ən ˈsaʊnz laɪk ə ˈpærət ||
ə ˈkærət

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Commentary

[Don't worry if you find this overwhelming. Don't let yourself be put off. The same phenomena will come up again and again in these transcriptions. There'll be plenty of opportunities for them to sink in over time. Slow and steady, a little each day, is the key to success.]

Explanation: The phrase sounds like a parrot would usually be interpreted to mean makes noises like a parrot, but the joke is that it could also be interpreted to mean has a similar pronunciation to the word parrot.

what’s: When unstressed, as it usually is, the word is can have three different pronunciations, depending on the final sound of the immediately preceding word:

·         When the final sound of the preceding word is /s z ʃ ʒ ʧ ʤ/, then is has the form /ɪz/, e.g. Chris is well /ˈkrɪs ɪz ˈwel/.

·         When the final sound of the preceding word is a voiceless consonants (excluding the consonants listed above), then is has the form /s/ and forms a contraction with the preceding word, e.g. Jack is well /ˈʤæks ˈwel/.

·         If the final sound of the preceding word is voiced (i.e. a vowel or a voiced consonant (excluding the consonants listed above)), then is has the form /z/ and forms a contraction with the preceding word, e.g. John is well /ˈʤɒnz ˈwel/.

This is the same pattern as with possessive s, plural s and the third person singular s.

orange: Formerly, words such as orange, strange and fringe were pronounced with final /-nʒ/ and words such as inch, French and branch with final /-nʃ/, and this is still included as a variant in some dictionaries. It is much more usual nowadays, however, to pronounce such words with /-nʤ/ and /-nʧ/. A notable exception is when orange appears in the compound orange juice, which is often pronounced /ˈɒrɪnʒ ʤuːs/.

and: When unstressed, as it usually is, and has the weak form /ən/ or /ənd/. Some books say that /ən/ is used before consonants and /ənd/ before vowels, but this is not true. While both forms can be heard before consonants and vowels, /ən/ is much more common than /ənd/. Learners can safely use only /ən/ for the weak form of and because it will never be wrong to do so.

sounds: When /d/ is at the end of a syllable (i.e. in a syllable coda) and is immediately preceded by a consonant, it is commonly elided/deleted when another consonant immediately follows (i.e. without a pause) in another word or, as in this case, in a suffix.

aː When unstressed, as it usually is, the indefinite article a has the weak form /ə/.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot.

A carrot.

Distant Relatives

ˈwɒt du ˈælɪɡˈzɑːndə ðə ˈɡreɪt | ən ˈwɪni ðə ˈpuː | ˈhæv ɪŋ ˈkɒmən ||
ˈseɪm ˈmɪdl̩ ˈneɪm

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Commentary

[Don't worry if you find this overwhelming. Don't let yourself be put off. The same phenomena will come up again and again in these transcriptions. There'll be plenty of opportunities for them to sink in over time. Slow and steady, a little each day, is the key to success.]

do: The symbol u represents the same vowel phoneme as the symbol uː. We use u in unstressed syllables and uː in stressed syllables. This distinction isn't very helpful for TEFL purposes and learners should simply treat the two symbols as the same. Because we are using two different symbols for one phoneme, this means our transcription isn't truly phonemic (phonemic transcription = one symbol for each phoneme).

the: When unstressed, as it usually is, the has the weak form /ðə/ when a consonant immediately follows.

and: When unstressed, as it usually is, and has the weak form /ən/ or /ənd/. Some books say that /ən/ is used before consonants and /ənd/ before vowels, but this is not true. While both forms can be heard before consonants and vowels, /ən/ is much more common than /ənd/. Learners can safely use only /ən/ for the weak form of and because it will never be wrong to do so.

Winnie: The symbol i represents the same vowel phoneme as the symbol iː. We use i in unstressed syllables and iː in stressed syllables. This distinction isn't very helpful for TEFL purposes and learners should simply treat the two symbols as the same. Because we are using two different symbols for one phoneme, this means our transcription isn't truly phonemic (phonemic transcription = one symbol for each phoneme).

in: The final consonant of in undergoes assimilation, changing from /n/ to /ŋ/ because the immediately following word begins with /k/. The consonant /n/ is a voiced alveolar nasal and /ŋ/ is a voiced velar nasal. The change from /n/ to /ŋ/ is a change of place of articulation (not of voicing or of manner of articulation). The place of articulation of the nasal changes to velar because the following consonant is velar (/k/ = a voiceless velar plosive). It is usual for /n/ to change its place of articulation to that of an immediately following consonant, becoming /ŋ/ before velar consonants (/k/ or /ɡ/) or /m/ before bilabial consonants (/p b m/).

common: The syllable /ən/ does not form a syllabic consonant when preceded by /m/.

middle: Phonemically, the final syllable of middle is /əl/. When this syllable is preceded by /d/, however, the schwa /ə/ isn't pronounced. Instead the articulators move directly from the position for /d/ to the position for /l/. This is easy to do in the case of /d/ because /d/ is articulated with tongue-tip against the alveolar ridge and the side-rims of the tongue against the upper molars, while /l/ is articulated with only the tongue-tip against the alveolar ridge. It is possible to move directly from /d/ to /l/ without an intervening vowel, therefore, merely by lowering the side-rims of the tongue from the side molars and leaving the tongue-tip in place. This is known as lateral release.

Note that in English, syllabic /l/ is not a phoneme in its own right, but merely a special way of realising the syllable /əl/. This means that when we use a special symbol [l̩] for it in transcription, it makes our transcription non-phonemic (because we are now using more than one symbol for each phoneme and introducing a special symbol to show a particular phonetic detail). It is worthwhile including this feature in transcriptions for EFL purposes, however, because it is a difficult area for learners and this draws their attention to it.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Same middle name.